So you’re probably here because you’re going through a break up and you’re having a hard time figuring out how to get over an ex
That’s definitely understandable. As I’m sure you already know, getting over a break up is hard. You’re probably going through a roller coaster of emotions right now and aren’t quite sure about how to get over a break up. Well, I want you to know that you came to the right place because in this article you’re going to learn 5 tips for how to get over an ex as fast as possible.
But before I share that with you, I want you to know that what you’re feeling right now is completely normal. There are people all around the world that are going through the exact same thing that you’re going through right now. Now, I know that doesn’t actually help you feel any better but I want you to know that you are not alone. Others are going through the exact same thing as you and millions of people have already been through it and survived. So have faith and trust that things will get better with time. Now then, let’s dive into the…
How to Get Over an Ex in 5 Simple Steps
1) Remember that Getting Over an Ex is a Process
The #1 most important thing to remember is that getting over a break up is a process. The very first step of that process is accepting that it’s over and coming to terms with what happened. After that, you actually have to grieve the loss and purge all the emotions that are bubbling up inside of you. If you truly want to get rid of all the pain you’re feeling, you have to face it and embrace it.
Another thing to remember is that the amount of time it takes to move on after a break up is completely dependent on the person and their ability to let go. Generally speaking, the longer you were in a relationship, the harder it is to move on. However, if you follow the 3 tips I share below, you’ll have a solid “roadmap” for getting over your ex as fast as possible.
2) Avoid Being Alone
After a break up, a lot of people just want to be left alone. That is perfectly fine in the beginning, but the more time you spend alone, the more depressed you’re going to feel bout your situation. Instead, choose to hang out with friends, loved ones, and anyone who brings positivity and joy in your life. The sooner you start socializing with other people the easier you will find it will be to get over your ex.
2) Get Rid of All Their Stuff
Having their things around is just going to remind you of them even more, which will make it even harder for you to get over your ex. You have to let go of all this stuff in order to move on with your life. Pack all of their things and either give them back or place them somewhere that you will not be able to see them on a daily basis. Allow this to be a therapeutic experience that marks the end of a chapter in your life. Let this be an act of closure. Not only will it will help you come to terms with what happened but not having their things around will definitely help you heal a lot faster too.
3) Get Over Your Ex by Focusing on Yourself
The positive thing about breaking up is the freedom that comes along with it. You are no longer obligated to spend every waking minute of your free time with your that person. So use it as an opportunity to get in some quality time for yourself. Think of something you’ve always wanted to do but have never had the opportunity to do and go out and do it. Use this time to explore new interests. Take on a new hobby. Do something that you enjoy. Have fun. This will help you realize that you don’t need your ex to be happy. Life does go on and you can be happy without your ex, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
4) Remember that Life Goes On
Losing the person you love is never easy but it is possible to get over a break up in a healthy manner. Remember, it’s okay to be upset at first and it’s okay to grieve, just don’t let the grief consume you. If I can sum up what I learned about life in just 3 words, “it goes on”
Remember that nothing in life lasts forever… not even your problems.
Realize that this too shall pass. Be patient and have faith.
5) Stay Positive
Don’t let what happened between you and your ex get you down. I know it hurts to lose the person you love but remember that nothing outside of you has the power to make you feel down about your life. If you’re feeling bad right now, it’s because you’re giving this situation the power to make you feel bad. And guess what? There’s no good reason to justify why you should continue to feel miserable just because your ex left you. Don’t let what happened stop you from enjoying life. Stay positive and optimistic. Do things that you’ve always loved to. Have fun. This will show you that you do NOT need your ex in order to be happy.
Keep your head up, stay positive and focus on doing things that make you happy!
If you’re feeling confused or frustrated about something that happened between you and your ex, click below to get my advice on how to get over an ex based on your situation
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If you’re going through a break up and looking for advice on how to repair a broken heart, then you must be in a really low place in your life right now. However, I want you to know that you are not alone. Everyone goes through a relationship break up at some point in their life and has to learn how to repair a broken heart they feel afterwards. Millions of songs and poems have been written about being heartbroken in attempt to deal with the wide range of emotions that we all feel after a break up: jealousy, anger, confusion, sadness and grief.
In the article and video below, you will learn how to repair a broken heart and deal with the overwhelming range of emotions that we all feel after a relationship break up.
How to Repair a Broken Heart in 5 Simple Steps
What Exactly Is Heartbreak?
People often describe heartbreak as a feeling of heaviness, emptiness, and sadness.
Lots of different things can cause the feeling of heartbreak. Some people might have had a romantic relationship that ended unexpectedly. Others might have had strong feelings for someone who doesn’t feel the same way about them. Or maybe a person feels sad or angry when a close friend ends or abandons the friendship. Although the causes may be different, the feeling of loss is the same — whether it’s the loss of something real or the loss of something you only hoped for.
How Do I Deal with Heartbreak?
Most people will tell you that you’ll get over it over time or that you’ll meet someone new, but when it’s happening to you, it can feel like no one in the world can possibly understand what you’re going through. However, it’s important to remember that BILLIONS of people have experienced the exact same feeling that you’re feeling right now. Yes, I said billions… not millions. There are 7 billion people in this world and a significant portion of them have loved and lost, got over it and loved again.
So no matter how down you may be feeling, realize that there are things that you can do to get over the heartbreak and move on with your life. In fact, I’m going to share the 5 stages of grief that we all go through after a break up and what you can do to get over the feeling of heartbreak.
Before I share the 5 stages of getting over heartbreak with you, I want to remind you that getting over a break up is not a linear process. It’s normal to go through a roller coaster of emotions and move back and forth between the 5 stages. So just acknowledge that the process may not go perfectly smoothly so that you don’t beat yourself up for experiencing ups and downs. It’s normal to have days where you’re feeling strong and confident followed by days of loneliness and sadness where you can’t stop thinking about your ex and all the things you miss about them. The name of the game is 2 steps forward, 1 step back. And as long as you’re moving forward, you’re winning.
Stage 1: Denial
In the beginning, it’s hard to accept that the break up is actually happening and your ex is really leaving. You feel shocked and you might be thinking “this can’t be happening.” You might a;sp feel numb or think you feel fine. The stage of denial is often temporary because it’s only your subconscious doing it’s best to protect you from pain. However, this feeling of denial can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few months because we all deal with the loss in our own way.
However, it’s important to confront the reality of the situation as soon as possible so that you can accept it, get over it and move on. Don’t delude yourself into thinking that your ex will come back or that you have a chance of rekindling what was once there. You don’t. It’s over. Accept it. Harboring hope will only hurt you and keep you from moving on.
Stage 2: Anger
As the feeling of shock begins to fade and you slowly start to confront the reality of the situation, it is normal to feel angry towards your ex (and towards yourself and the world around you). It’s very common to have thoughts like “how could they do this to me?” or “it’s not fair!” It’s also perfectly normal to feel like they’re doing this purposely just to hurt you. This stage can be quite intense, especially if you’re not used to feeling so angry but it’s a very necessary stage in the process of getting over a broken heart.
In fact, anger is actually a very powerful emotion that can help you get over the break up. Once you experience anger, you can be sure that you are on the right path to healing a broken heart. And the best way to move swiftly through this stage is to stop trying to control your anger. Accept that you’re angry and fully express your anger. If you try to suppress your anger, it will fester inside of you and keep you stuck. You’ll feel angry at your ex and you’ll keep lashing out at them for what they did to you. You’ll tell your story over and over to people to get them to agree with you and tell you that what your ex did to you is wrong. There’s nothing wrong with doing this at first; in fact, it’s quite normal. However, you have to get past this stage in order to move on with your life. If you don’t, you will constantly have this feeling of anger and resentment inside of you and will latch onto everything you can to support your story of how wrong it was for your ex to do this to you. Instead, let go of the anger so it doesn’t keep building momentum like a snowball rolling down the hill. There are a few different methods you can use to express your anger. I will list a few below and you can use whichever method you feel most comfortable with.
- writing all your angry thoughts into a journal
- doing rigorous exercise
- screaming into a pillow
- hitting a pillow
If you find another way to help you deal with your anger, feel free to give it a try. The most important thing at this stage is to just let out all the painful feelings inside you. I know it may be hard at first but you need to release your anger or you will get stuck in grief.
Stage 3: Bargaining
At this stage, it can be very tempting to try to get your ex to change their mind about the break up. So don’t worry if you find yourself coming up with schemes to try and get your ex back. Remember that bargaining is part of the process of getting over heartbreak, even if it feels like you’re going crazy at times.
During the bargaining stage, you may be tempted to take all the blame for how things turned out. You do this because you hope that if the problem only lied within you, then you could do something to change the future and prove to your ex that things will be different.
At this stage, you may also feel an urge to contact your ex or visit their normal hangouts or do something to get their attention. You need to resist this urge as much as possible. You will look desperate and needy to your ex and it will only push them away even further. Not only that, but they will also remember how weak and desperate you were for them to give you another chance and this is probably not how you want to be remembered. You want to be remembered as someone who handled the situation maturely by accepting the loss and moving on, rather than begging and pleading to get them back at the expense of your dignity and self-respect.
To make it easier for you to get through the bargaining stage, ask your friends for support. When you feel an urge to contact your ex, stop for a moment, and see whether you can look for a friend to comfort you instead. Your ex is no longer there to comfort you and you need to get used to that. Another thing you can do is grab your journal and write down whatever you’re feeling in the safety of your own notebook, where there is no risk of rejection or disappointment. Another thing that’s very helpful is sharing what you wrote in your journal with a close friend. I know the thought of that may seem a bit terrifying at first but sharing your deepest fears and still feeling love and accepted for who you are is incredibly healing. Regardless of what you do, the point here is that you do something to help you deal with the break up.
Stage 4: Depression
During the depression stage, it’s normal to feel very drained and low on energy. You may feel the need to isolate yourself and spend time alone. This is perfectly normal and should be allowed. There’s no need to force yourself to do anything you don’t want to. I’m sure your true friends will understand why you don’t feel like going out or partying. Tune into what you’re feeling inside and give yourself the time to heal your broken heart.
When the depression stage sets in, your mind may start having thoughts like this…
- “I’m so worthless”
- “I can’t live without them”
- “What’s the point of living without them? I have nothing to look forward to”
It is normal to feel down and depressed after a break up. Losing someone you love is a very painful process. In fact, it’s the “ultimate rejection”
Why a Breakup is the “Ultimate” Rejection
See, it’s one thing to approach someone that you’re interested in and not have them reciprocate. That stings. You put yourself out there and they didn’t care to get to know you any further.
However, investing so much of yourself into the relationship and putting yourself out there in a way that you don’t normally do AND THEN getting rejected on top of that freakin’ hurts. That’s because they’re not rejecting you for some superficial reason like your looks or what you said when you approached them, they’re rejecting you after knowing you quite intimately for a long time. It’s hard not to take that personally.
After this happens, it’s normal to get down about yourself and feel like there’s something “wrong” with you. However, you have to remember that this is a trick that your mind is playing on you and that you are not any less lovable just because one person fell out of love with you.
In order to get through the stage of depression as quickly as possible, you must express your feeling. Cry if you have to. Feel sorry for yourself. Let all those feelings out. Remember, they are just feelings and they are only temporary. That is, if you let them flow. If you don’t let them out, they will stay buried inside you and they will be permanent. However, if you confront them and express them, you will allow them to flow and you will be able to release them.
When it comes to getting over heartbreak, your journal is your best friend. Why? Because it will always be there for you and it will always give you the ability to express your thoughts and feelings. And best of all, it will never judge you. You are safe to say whatever you want in there. And once you write enough in that journal, one day you’ll find that you’re okay and no longer need to write anything in there. That’s when you know hit the fifth and final stage of healing a broken heart.
Stage 5: Acceptance
This is the stage where you realize that you are going to get through it and everything will be okay. Once you reach the acceptance stage, you’ll find yourself moving through the healing process a lot quicker. In fact you might even feel a sense of relief and freedom. It’s like a heavy burden has finally been lifted off your shoulders. You’re finally free again.
In fact, after surviving a break up, you might also have a new understanding of how strong your spirit is. After getting through all those intense thoughts and feelings, you have developed a sense of inner strength and resilience that will help you get through the hard times, no matter what they are.
You have deepened your relationship with yourself and learned to tune into your feelings and respond accordingly. You have developed a greater sense of compassion and patience with yourself that you can carry on with you in the future.
And most importantly, you have discovered that your heart has a very great capacity to love. And by going through such an intense experience, you have actually expanded your capacity to love. You are now much more mature and self-aware as a result of this experience and you can now love at a greater depth than you have before. You may not realize this right now but I promise you that you will once you open yourself back up and fall in love again. After every relationship break up I’ve had, I’ve been able to love even more deeply in my next relationship. Every heartbreak shapes you and molds you. If you get your heart broken and you choose to rebuild it, it is rebuilt that much stronger. Remember that you can never lose anything by loving. If anything, you gain a lot from the experience. You gain knowledge and wisdom. You gain maturity and self-awareness. And most importantly, you gain a greater capacity to love.
I truly hope that this article has been helpful to you and has helped you get over the heartbreak.
As my final gift to you, I want to leave you with some affirmations that you can repeat to yourself if you ever get “stuck” somewhere in the process of getting over a broken heart.
- “It is safe for me to accept change in my life”
- “It is safe for me to release my anger and depression”
- “It is safe for me to move forward with my life”
As I said before, don’t make yourself wrong anywhere along the process. It is all part of the process. Encourage yourself throughout the entire journey and notice how well you’re doing. You’re getting through it. You’re looking for answers. You’re embracing a better way day by day. Take note of this and honor yourself for doing something to better your life and move forward. Not everyone has the courage to do so.
If you’re feeling confused or frustrated about something that happened between you and your ex, click below to get my advice on how to repair a broken heart based on your situation
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This blog is a guest post by Rose (Triantafillia Memisaki). I normally write all the content for my blog myself but I stumbled across one of her youtube videos the other day and her advice was so good that I asked her to post up one of her articles on how to get over an ex.
I’m sure everyone who’s been through a break-up will agree that they are difficult to deal with. When it happens to us, we immediately break out the questions. Why did it end? Why does it hurt so much? The list goes on and on… Ultimately, we just want to know what to do, so we can move on. We bug friends and family, flip through books and comb the internet… all in the hope that we’ll stumble upon a detailed step-by-step list that will tell us exactly what to do and how to do it.
Sometimes we find people who promise us a miracle formula that will magically make everything better… only to be immensely disappointed. Phrases like “you’ll get over it” or “it’s not as bad as you think” never help the way they’re intended to. All they are are empty promises that life goes on, that we will find other people to love. But we don’t want cliché guidance. We want a surefire, quick and easy way to get rid of this agony and feel whole again.
Well, I don’t know about quick and easy, but I’m convinced I’ve found a guaranteed way to accomplish this lofty goal. All you need to do is recognize the feelings that are the cause of all this pain and use the tips below to understand and combat each one. Once you realize what’s really keeping you from moving on, you’ll be surprised at how quickly you’ll be liberated. I challenge you to read on…
1. Feelings of denial
We try to convince ourselves that our ex might return to us.
Explanation: If our pet dies, do we pretend it’s still alive and wait for it to come back to us? Of course not. We accept that it died, bury it and move on. The reason we can’t accept the death of a relationship in the same way is because we didn’t notice the signs, so the end came as a shock to us. And we didn’t notice the signs because we didn’t communicate with each other the moment something was wrong. No matter what the reason for your break up, one thing’s for sure: at least one of the two parties wasn’t happy with the way things were going. When you figure out what that reason was you might try to fix the problem, thinking that will make them come back. But the fact of the matter remains that you didn’t do it in time and the relationship died. There’s nothing left to repair.
Instructions: Accept the fact that you weren’t making each other happy (and that you weren’t communicating well) and see the break up for what it truly is; a chance for both of you to find true happiness with someone better suited for you.
2. Feelings of guilt, failure and inadequacy
When someone breaks up with you the first thing that comes to mind is that you did something wrong or that you weren’t good enough. You can’t help but feel that it failed because you are just not cut out for relationships.
Explanation: The end of a relationship is generally considered something negative and we tend to label it a ‘failure’. Sometimes we go so far as to believe that we are failures, by association. But the only failure here is that we fail to see how it can help us better ourselves. We made some mistakes and bad judgment calls, but both of these are something we can learn from, when we acknowledge them.
Instructions: Look back on all the experiences you shared with your ex (good AND bad), and note the things you learnt from them. Notice how you learnt more from the bad experiences than the good. Through this break up, you gained something substantial in either learning about yourself or about something you can do to better your future partnerships. Be grateful for that.3. Feelings of “lovelessness”
We are terrified that no one will ever love us again.
Explanation: It hurts when a loving relationship comes to an end because we depended on that person as our sole source of love. Our entire sense of self-worth was directly connected to how much our partner loved us. Now that they’re gone we feel like there is no one left to give us that love. But when we depend on other people to make us happy it’s a lose-lose formula, because it relies on circumstances beyond our control. By learning to accept, appreciate and ultimately love ourselves, we make sure we will be happy whether we’re social, friendless, single, or involved with someone. Not only do we regain control of our lives, but it also makes us more attractive to the outside world, and thus more likely to find a new partner.
Instructions: See yourself for who you really are and do what makes you happy. Being in a relationship may have led you to forget the activities you used to enjoy. Get back in touch with your inner self and indulge like you’ve never indulged before! This time, respect yourself enough to NOT let anyone come between you and the things you love to do.
4. Feelings of having lost something unique and irreplaceable
We think there is no one else out there as decent or as amazing as our ex.
Explanation: Come on, people! Do I really need to explain this one? Don’t be immature and lazy. There are 7 billion people in this world. At least one billion of them are the right age to date you. No excuses about how most of them live too far away or speak a different language. More people than you think are very proper, loving individuals who are looking for someone just like you… and they might live right around the corner.
Instructions: Get yourself out there and be proactive about meeting new people. Stay focused and don’t lose sight of what you are really looking for in a partner. Don’t just go for the first decent-looking person who winks at you. Use what you learnt from the previous relationship and make sure you get it right this time.
I can’t claim to have all the answers, but as a person who has been on the receiving end of several heart-shattering break-ups, I can safely say that I know how you feel. So for those of you who are still not satisfied and want that step-by-step instruction manual I mentioned earlier, I’m happy to present it to you. I have compiled a comprehensive list of directions that have been proven to work every time, in every situation, for every person. They’ve helped hundreds of people so far, so what’s to say they won’t work for you? Go ahead. Take a look. It’s free. What do you have to lose…other than that painful knot in your stomach?
If this article helped you, you can get more advice from Rose by checking out her popular youtube videos on how to get over your ex.
Link to How to Get Over Your Ex – Part 1:
Link to How to Get Over Your Ex – Part 2:
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I’ve had to figure out the answer to “how do I get over my ex?” many times – from the perspective of one with the broken heart and from the perspective of the one breaking the heart. No matter how it goes down, a break up will always be hard on you as you scramble to get out of a negative mindset. I actually got a question from one of my readers today that inspired this post…
“I broke up with my girlfriend of two years. Actually, she broke up with me. She found another man who “suited her” better. I am crushed. As a guy, I know I shouldn’t be crushed. But, I am crushed. I spent every day with her and I know I should be strong. But, this is all easier said than done. What should I do to get over her? When will I get over her? Is it natural to still want her back? “(Heartbroken in Austin, Texas)
Your story is a common one, so don’t think there is anything wrong with you. Unfortunately, mainstream society says that men should be the stronger sex and shouldn’t have a problem figuring out how to get over a broken heart, but the reality isn’t always as we see in the movies. Often times, guys have a much harder time figuring out how to deal with a break up than girls for a variety of reasons:
- Guys don’t have the intimate support group of friends that girls have.
- Guys feel more responsibility in making a relationship work – they feel as though they should be the leaders and consider a failed relationship a failure in their personality.
- Guys try to internalize their emotions rather than sharing them. This keeps their emotions bottled up and can have an adverse effect on their personality.
Fortunately, “Heartbroken”, I am here to help. There are three steps that I would like you and every guy to take when getting over an ex girlfriend.
1) Be Logical
There are millions of potential girlfriends in this world who will be a better fit for you. This is a reality. Your girlfriend indicated that there was someone better suited for her. You know what? There’s actually a positive in what happened because she didn’t waste any more of your time. Any girl who thinks this is not a girl who should be in your long-term plans. This might be a harsh reality, but the silver lining is that you can also find someone who is a better fit for you – personality, looks, life situation and more. It is time for you to look at the faults of your ex and find someone who is a better fit for you as well.
2) Date Others
It is always odd for me to hear about guys who are heartbroken and simply stay at home alone and self loathe. Really, what is this going to do for you? What I need for you to do is to get yourself some dates. If you don’t know anyone who might be a good prospect, try online dating. The advantage of online dating is that you will get to meet others outside of your normal social circle. You may also try meeting girls at public locations while doing sports, shopping, drinking, etc. By dating others, you will soon find yourself falling for other girls and quickly forgetting about your ex.
3) Enjoy Your Single Life
What most people don’t realize is that you really don’t have all much time in your life to truly enjoy being single. This is the time you have to selfishly pursue your goals and your dreams. This is typically the time where your true personality shines as you get to be true to yourself, your career and your friends rather than to a relationship. Make the most of this time and you won’t regret it.
Getting over a girlfriend will always be a challenge, but these three steps should be at the cornerstone of any breakup recovery plan. Hopefully these tips will help you move on with your life so you are no longer “heartbroken”
If you’re feeling confused or frustrated about something that happened and you’re wondering how do i get over my ex, click below to get my advice
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Dealing with a break up is not easy; in fact, it can be downright awful. But there is no sense in spending more time than you need thinking about the failed relationship. Instead, you should focus on figuring out how to get over a break up and move on with your life. There are a few tried and true steps you can to take to get over your ex. In this article, I’ll share some secrets that show you how to get over an ex.
1) Do not contact your ex
As much as you may want to talk to your ex, do not call, do not send a text, do not send an email – quite simply do not contact your ex. Contacting your ex will only have you feeling badly again and could stir up some emotions and feelings that really are not going to help you get over your break-up. Some people think they can stay friends after an ended relationship, but this really can end up leaving you with lingering hopes that the relationship can be resurrected.
2) Your ex was not the only one for you
I’m guessing you have heard the saying “there are lots of fish in the sea”? Well, this time-aged saying is very very true. Your ex was not the only one for you. There is another person out there who really will make you happy and fulfilled. Yes, you may have been in love with your ex, but the relationship is over so you need to move on and realize that you will eventually meet someone else who’s right for you too.
3) Talk about your feelings
Each and every one of your friends has gone through exactly what you are going through right now. Take advantage of your friends and family and talk with them about how you are feeling. You will not feel better about your break-up without talking about your emotions. Now you do not need to share your deepest darkest secrets, but simply getting together for a coffee with a good friend and simply talking can go a long way in helping you to get over your ex.
4) Get out and socialize
Maybe you have spent a few days at home closed off from your friends and your normal activities. Well, put an end to this and get out and have some fun. Sitting at home and doing nothing is not going to do much in getting you moving forward. Go out with friends and have a great night out, go to a concert, go for a walk, watch a movie – really do whatever it is like you do to have fun and relax. Soon enough you will find yourself relaxing with your friends and your ex will not even enter into your thoughts.
Hopefully these tips will help you figure out how to get over a relationship. I admit that it’s not easy to do, but you have to take the steps to help yourself so you can finally move on with your life. Remember, the sooner you get over your ex, the sooner you’ll be able to get back to your normal self again and maybe even meet someone new.
If you’re feeling confused or frustrated about something that happened between you and your ex, click below to get my advice on how to get over an ex based on your situation
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